Today a girlfriend asked me the question perhaps others have thought of but not dared to ask – what does it feel like getting married the second time round? First thing that came to my mind is that I have a much greater knowledge of who I am, what my core needs and beliefs are, than I did fifteen years ago. I know how difficult marriage can be (which I didn’t at the time), and yet I am willing to give it a shot again. I was convinced, armed with this knowledge, that I was ahead of the game, and I also thought that most people in my situation must feel the same way. After all why would you want to engage into something that didn’t work out the first time if you weren’t convinced it could work this time round?
So I went to the Net to check out some stats and lo and
behold, the divorce rate is higher for second marriages than it is for firsts
(and it gets higher on the third, so good job to my mom and her hubby). This
made no sense to me what so ever. Even the reasons mentioned – greater
independence, less of a desire to “hold the family together,” and step-families
among other factors, were not convincing for me.
Basically I discovered that not only am I about to engage into one high-failure venture (opening a restaurant), but unbeknownst to me, two! And how does this make me feel? Very, very pumped. Fuck the stats: as the French saying goes, “Qui ne tente rien n’a rien.”
Oh and by the way I have an amazing fiancé… which also
helps.
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